Saturday, August 19, 2006





Need I say more?

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Aiden did better at school Monday, I just hope it continues. I am getting depressed, I am so tired of the same old shit routine. Wake up, scream my head of for an hour because the kids cant find their shoes, or lunchbox, etc... when they are SUPPOSED to have EVERYTHING ready the night before, get them off to school, run errands, and go to work at that hell hole where I've been turned into the slave. They are going to pay me to do 4 peoples job, or I am going to do NO ONES.... I cant even move in the morning because I bagged 400 pounds of ice and swept and mopped an entire store the night before.. did I mention I am legally handicap?

Saturday, August 12, 2006

I am having ALOT of trouble with Aiden again this year. Today was only the 5th day of the school year and I was already asked to keep him home. In his mind, he won. He knows if he is disruptive or stubborn, they are going to send him home. He is just going to show us WHO is in chanrge and WHO has the stronger will. I am so frustrated with this boy.
I was concerned that he may have a learnng disability. They were telling me he couldnt answer any questions, and could not do ANY of his school work. I went to his class today to get all of the work for today and what he hasnt done this week. If he was staying home I'll be ding danged if the child was going to have FUN... no no.. he was going to DO his work!

It took him 30 minutes to finish a weeks worth of papers... and i didnt help him much, all i did was read him the instructions. he can identify the alphabet, sounds and numbers.. even out of sequence.

The local public school is 400 kids over capacity.. I really dont know what my options are. I will tell you that sending him home when he misbehaves is giving him EXACTLY what he wants. He will be 6 in 4 months.. he is NOT too young to be in school.

You see I didnt have enough stress yet... so here comes that rain I mentioned.

Thursday, August 10, 2006




Just putting in a pic so I can add it to my profile.

It looks like the 'mass' has to come out. It's very frustrating for me.
Why?
It's not because it's gotta come out, but because I have to trust SOMEONE to TAKE it out. My beloved surgeon has offered to take it out for me... but the only problem is, he is in tampa... that is a 3 hr drive. I personally would drive for 2 days just to feel comfortable with the dr who is cutting on my breast, but gas is over $3 a gallon, and we are struggling to pay bills. If I take any time off from work, that means I will not be paid. If we go down to Tampa for a few days, we are going to have to rent a room somewhere. Any way I look at it, it is gonna cost us alot.

Unless I decide to put my trust in another Dr. with my history, I am not willing to trust ANYONE without being given a good reason.

I just dont know what to do. I am so frustrated and annoyed. I wish I could cut the stupid thing out myself.

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Ok, I am nervous now!
I emailed my ever so trusted surgeon that has relocated to Tampa (about 3 hrs away) for his opinion on the lumpy boobies.. here is his reply...

I tell my patients that I could remove it “for peace of mind.” However, now that you have had an abnormal mammo, you can either get a core biopsy (bx) from a radiologist (less scar, less $, ? less pain, usually easier to schedule) or an excisional bx. If the bx is positive, then you need to see a surgeon for large excision, and possibly further treatment (chemo and/or radiation depending on the operation). If the bx is negative, you STILL have to see a surgeon for an excisional bx in order to get the whole mass out and identify that it is completely benign (if the bx comes back positive, see previous sentence). It is confusing for the patient, but you need to know ALL of your options.


Yes, all of this is very possible, but SEEING it made it even more possible. I really needed that, someone to really level with me... thats what I miss about this Dr. Like I said ... it really became to realistic when he spelled that out for me...

I am off to work... 10-6 today. I have to warn you.. I closed last night for the first time flying solo (just me and a newer employee, I was responsible for the register closings and store order) and if I get any bitching about anything done incorrectly, I may just quit... I am just not in the right state of mind for nit picking.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006



'Mommy, you know you are her grandma'.

I swear Ava is the best little mother I have ever seen... she makes sure her baby is nursed, changed, clothed, and given plenty of attention EVERYday... today she needed help changing her outfit, and informed me that I should help, I mean I AM her grandma! She has her in the stroller going for a walk now. I told her this grandma will help out, but she doesn't babysit!

I am actually having baby fever. After 4 kids, you'd think I'd never have the fever again! I sure never expected to. But hey, my BABY is about to be 4 and I miss the whole nurturing the helpless infant. BUT HEY!! I am sure the fever will soon pass! Maybe I should get a new puppy??

Monday, July 31, 2006

I feel like shring these lyrics. They are to a country song that was new about 4 yrs ago. I feel like I am living by these words!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Bring On The Rain

Another day has almost come and gone
Can't imagine what else could wrong
Sometimes I'd like to hide away somewhere and lock the door
A single battle lost but not the war ('cause)

Tomorrow's another day
And I'm thirsty anyway
So bring on the rain.

It's almost like the hard times circle 'round
A couple drops and they all start coming down
Yeah, I might feel defeated,
I might hang my head
I might be barely breathing - but I'm not dead, no

Tomorrow's another day
And I'm thirsty anyway
So bring on the rain.

I'm not gonna let it get me down
I'm not gonna cry
And I'm not gonna lose any sleep tonight.

Cuz tomorrow's another day, and I'm thirsty
anyway, so bring on the rain.
Bring on the rain.

Nothing much new to say. We went to a family reunion this past weekend, and it was hotter than hell. The kids all had a great time, so it was OK. Stephen and I got into a huge fight because he found out I smoked ONE cigarette while we were there... but I think we are OK now.

I've got the appointments this week for the boobie test and root canal on the same day.... I should be quite charming that day!!